I’m a phaser. I’m always in a phase – it happens every so often. If you know me well enough, you would associate a phase to an event in my life. I go through this often, and then, something immediately becomes the theme of my life. I do everything according to theme – think, sing, play music.
For instance, when I’m really really happy, I have this constant set of songs that I sing. Well, if you were in my cubicle, you’d know I have a set of Jaaneman Jaaneman songs. Each of them have the word Jaaneman in them, and thats all I really want to sing in a day. (Just when you were thinking I was incapable of singing, hah). My Jaaneman songs have a certain spark. They are all a different tone, and each mean something different, but think about it. They are so catchy. They come at random occasions – when my mind is either pre-occupied, or blank, or I have nothing to sing. So here they are, the only 2 that come to mind (probably because I’m actually thinking about them):
1. Jaaneman Jaaneman, palat teri nazar (bad song, but anyhow)
2. Jaaneman, Jaaneman, tere do nayan.
3. Jaane kya Jaaneman (:O ?? I’ve never even seen the video for this one)
Now, that was one phase, and today I’m at another place. Jaaneman has not been sung in a while. Neil Diamond, Elvis and Clapton are resting. CCR comes only on rainy days. This phase, which comes on and off, when I know I’m “off”, comes in the form of very old Hindi songs, mostly sad, sung by women. Then the covers will be played, compared to the original, and then I decide which one I like most. Then they will be sung by me, twice or thrice in my head, till I move onto the next. These phases, are capable of shutting me up. My usual banter stops, and I’m humming. They’re all about soul, searching for an answer, knowing that the answer will not be in my favor – but hoping nevertheless.
Here’s a “phase off” (get it? get it?) between the songs that I love. I cannot decide which one I like the most. I listen to these every other time, even when I’m upset that I have too much work to do, and need to seriously get down and dirty, and finish up.
1. Lag jaa gale – This song, is in black and white. The words can drill a hole through me. I actually think that this song makes me feel hollow – almost like there is a void, which I’m not sure will be filled very easily.
2. Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo – This one is a popular favorite. I don’t have to say much. This has been sung, resung many times over the years. Once in the Black & white era, once in a pop song, and the latest one, which I like the most – as envisioned by Shankar Tucker.
3. Ajeeb Daastan hai yeh – I was a small child, maybe around 7 or 8 when I first heard this song. This was a personal favorite in the family. I remember the summer holiday, where my cousin (Soumya) copied this song, from her own “song book” into my sisters “song book” (Yes, we all had those). Then, I remember my cousin (Soumya), teaching my sister the song, and them both singing this together. That is the first time I’d heard this, and fell in love with it. Back then, I had no idea what the 3 paragraphs meant. I thought it was a happy song. I remember it being a song I loved singing, and loved the tune. Then, when I was older, sensible and so much more evolved emotionally, I saw the song. The woman in dark clothes on a boat, singing for the man she loved and lost, praying that he has a wonderful life and hoping for the best for him. She calls her life strange, like life’s playing a joke on her. This one is a beauty, which is actually a sad song, in the happiest music you can imagine. Thank you sisters 1 and 2 for bringing this into my life.
Call me a softie, or old fashioned. I grew up in the times where Television was DD 1, Sunday Mornings were about Rangoli and the Mahabharat, Sunday Afternoons were about Old HIndi Movies, News was about that lady with the huge bindi, who used sign language for the hearing impaired. I couldn’t have grown up in better times, or have loved better music than I do today. :) Too much for a phase?